I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize