okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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