your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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