I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
