Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize