No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
