He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
