I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
