is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
