Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he shaved USA in his pubs
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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