Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
