I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
