are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
