there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
