Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
