there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
