I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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