Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
