Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize