the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
