capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
