I want to have your abortion
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
