My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i dont even know how to be here
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
