He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
