In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
