I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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