Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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