took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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