Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
