its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
