i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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