I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
