Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
