There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
