At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
