she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
