I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
