so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
