Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
