so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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