I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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