well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
