i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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