I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
