Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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