Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
