She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
