If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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