it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
