Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
