this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
