She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
