The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
