I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
