That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
