I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
