I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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