I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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